Reviewed by Andres De La Hoz

ABORTION is Santiago and Jeremy's latest movie, after the critical failure "Toll Free". This one, a hit at the film festival, has gotten rave reviews from many, being called an instant classic by some, and even having its symbolism analyzed. One of the best reviewed movies of the film festival, this one seems destined to go down as one of the great shots of 2004.

Too bad it completely sucks.

Wow. I really, really hate 3dmmers. Is there any movie that you guys haven't overrated? ANY?

Abortion is a drama, they say. No it's not. How can there be drama, when we know the characters for about 7 seconds? I know this is supposed to be a short film, but this is completely ridiculous. This movie barely seemed to even exist. It was over before I could think up more than 3 adjectives to describe its lameness. WHY? WHY? The movie has no substance whatsoever.

It's baffling. It's just... unbelievable. I had read reviews of the movie. Not the long reviews, but the normal ones. So I had an idea of what it was about, I thought. Wrong. I knew the whole movie. Seriously. There is nothing to this movie. You can't write a plot synopsis without spoiling the whole thing. I'll try. It's about a lunatic who, upon learning that his wife has aborted their child, kills the child of the abortion doctor. WHOOOPS, spoiled the whole 7 seconds, right there. Trust me, you aren't missing anything.

This movie brings absolutely nothing new to the "stupid idiots who should kill themselves" short movie genre. The plot is the same old, same old. The direction is the same old, same old. Sure, the animation's nice. It would have been nicer if the movie actually LASTED SOMETHING, because it didn't. And it's still just so by-the-book. You want close-ups of feet as someone walks? Check. You want close-ups of people's faces? Check. You want half animation, half black screen? Check.

And the plot. Ohhh, the plot. The plot relies on a completely absurd development. Which, if I like the movie, I might be willing to ignore. Simply put, the whole circumstance makes no sense whatsoever. Here's a woman, visibly pregnant, who out of the fucking blue decides to abort. So she pays for the abortion herself, has it, and then tells the guy, OUT IN THE STREET, that she aborted.

I want an explanation for this. I really do. Look, it makes no fucking sense at all. It makes no sense for a woman to just, out of the blue, abort her baby (which is clearly visible in her stomach). It also makes no sense for her NOT to tell the father. Of course, you could try and rationalize this. You could say that the father is clearly mentally unstable, and would react violently to the idea of aborting the kid. If that were the case, the woman would most likely abort it and run to the hills, instead of going face to face with the mentally unstable, violent guy, and telling him "whoops, i aborted".

This movie makes no sense. As with a considerably worse movie (Retaliation), this movie lives in a complete vacuum, where random crap happens because it's supposed to advance the plot, not because it's supposed to make sense. The relationship between the man and the woman doesn't exist. We just see different, contradicting scenes that miserably fail to give this relationship, and therefore the abortion, any sort of credibility.

I'll grant you something, though.

The ending was hilarious, in that "OMG I WANT TO SHOCK" kind of way.

2/5