Reviewed by Aaron Haynes

PAMs bug me a lot less when they're actually about something. Animate a guy putting on sunglasses and shooting random people as he runs down the street and I'll yawn and find something else to watch. But create suspense by actually introducing a premise for a movie -- in this case, the simple but effective story of a zombie infestation by a baby being injected with a Martian virus -- then you have a context for the inventive ass-kicking that takes place. Seeing slowdown and gunshots and grisly blood and gore effects (which this movie pioneered in a lot of areas) isn't necessarily the mark of a worthless movie, but for God's sake, make us CARE first. And Aaarnishoz actually does.

Less disposable and better paced than Texan Silly Boys 2, this was probably Wheele's best film. While that other big-name PAM he did may have an amazing ending sequence with some great camerawork, this one works better as a movie. Starting off with the B story about the infected baby, whose sudden violent attacks begin the A story at the school, Aaarnishoz does a great job of cutting between the two until they collide at the end. Three kids in the school end up in a storage closet wondering what they're going to do, when suddenly, how fortunate that an AK-47, a working lawnmower blade, and a tank of gas plus a cigarette lighter are in the boxes stashed against the back wall. What follows are these weapons put to great use against the best-looking zombies made in 3DMM, and the goriest deaths of said zombies that had been seen in 2001. A sort-of C story involving the character of Aaarnishoz is introduced about mid-way through. The film may be named after him, but he's a gimmick in the full scheme of the movie. I think that was probably Ben's intent, as he reads a book entitled 'How to Kill Zombies', does the oft-used sunglasses shot but the sunglasses then fall off, and ends up being killed only a few minutes later. Actually, it was kind of a neat gag, how he's the most throwaway character in the movie. Odd, though.

The music and voices are stellar, especially for 2001. The editing and camerawork start out competently in the beginning, and improve greatly by the third act. On my second watch after two years, I started out skeptical, but by the end I was a believer. This movie is frequently called a classic, and was paraded as a masterpiece when it came out, and watching it again two and a half years later it was better than I remembered. The final sequence of the still montage does something I wish more still montages in 3DMM would do, namely making the images into actual punchlines rather than just showing us the aftermath (check out the gag of the soldiers throwing their guns into the air, and one of them firing and shooting a cop in the back, or the bloody snowman). And the use of Perfect Day by Lou Reed during this sequence almost reminded me of the ending to Dr. Strangelove. Almost.

At the end, what do we have? I wouldn't put it on my top 10 list, but it's definitely among the top 20 3DMM classics. One of the few PAMs where the concept is given more weight than the gore, and leaves you smiling rather than rolling your eyes on repeat viewings. Great stuff.

Critical Score: 85/100.
Personal Score: 90/100.